The Dating Advice Making Us Worse at Love with Relationship Expert Amy Chan

The internet is flooded with advice for dating in the smartphone age: know your type, trust the spark, watch for red flags, protect your peace, never settle. It sounds like self-respect, but relationship expert Amy Chan thinks it’s a big reason dating feels impossible right now. Her argument: we need to correct the lessons we’ve learned when it comes to dating. The person who’s great on a first date isn’t necessarily great at a relationship. Instant chemistry isn’t always a good sign. A red flag could just be an imperfection. And keeping our options open has made a lot of us genuinely bad at choosing someone. Amy is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp and the author of Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts. For nearly two decades she’s looked at dating through psychology and neuroscience — why we’re drawn to certain people, why relationships fall apart, and what actually predicts whether one lasts. She started her career helping people end relationships… Now, she teaches them how to build one. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why “instant chemistry” is one of the worst predictors of a lasting relationship ➡️ The quiet qualities research says actually predict a happy partnership ➡️ Why dating skills and relationship skills are two completely different skill sets ➡️ How the algorithm rewards red-flag advice 10X over green-flag advice (and what that’s doing to you) ➡️ Situationships: why the breakup hurts more when there was never a breakup ➡️ “Leaky energy,” micro-cheating, and the honest test for both ➡️ The 9-date experiment Amy gives clients who are stuck dating the same person ➡️ How the right relationship shrinks old wounds ➡️ Why discomfort is a critical skill dating requires Amy’s advice isn’t about finding a better person. It’s about becoming someone better at love. And that’s advice all of us could use! This… is A Bit of Optimism.